I’m really glad it’s almost February. Don’t get me wrong; I love Winter Clearance Sales and making
big pots of soup. But the whole New Year, New Me, New Attitude thing, I’m just not really into it. I have personally never been one to make resolutions in January, mostly out of deep seeded rebellious tendencies. But also out of a sensation that resolutions seem laced with guilt, cut with self-conscious poison.
There was nothing wrong with you. I love the you from 2013, just as you were. If you want to run a marathon or take up knitting, awesome! I support the desire for self-improvement and learning and pushing boundaries. But just so long as we can agree that you are already WHOLE. Changing your diet for a month will not make you a different person. Letting go of any expectation of how you will look or feel or be, start with that first. Then if you want to workout go-ahead girl, do your thing. But don’t do it with the expectation that at the end of the month your going to run or down dog your way into a different body or a different life. The moments I feel most self-confident have had zero correlation to what I weigh or how I look. Peace is not a number on a scale or even the crossing of the finish line. It’s in recognizing that I am not my body. My body is my vehicle through this life and as such deserves tune-ups and oil changes and dusting. But it will rust and the paint will chip and eventually it will break down. You can’t take it with you folks.
I love being active! I especially love running. There is so much freedom in running. The sensation of your body working, taking you places, giving yourself time to organize your thoughts and then clear your head, it’s totally awesome. It’s basically my favorite thing to do. Sometimes I run because I ate too much cake or drank too much wine, but primarily I run because I love running. It pumps me full of endorphins and makes me feel like I could conquer the world. Perhaps when I first got into running, I had a goal in mind to lose weight and get fit. I am not trying to dissuade anyone from giving up on making goals necessarily. I just want to discourage the guilt of goal setting and encourage the joy of activity and taking up empowering pursuits. If you love it, you’ll keep doing. It shouldn’t always feel like a chore.
Honestly part of this stems from a random article I read a few months ago about women and body issues. Yeah, yeah, I know right? Women worrying about their bodies is nothing new. That being said, a study commissioned by LYCRA BEAUTY revealed that the average woman spends 12 hrs a week worrying about how she looks and 2 hrs a week worrying that shes overweight.
What the fuck, ladies?!
This isn’t time spent putting on make-up or shaving your legs or getting dressed. This is time fretting, hours of anxiety instead of peace. Time spent thinking that you’re not enough. That you could be improved. That you’re not freaking gorgeous just as you are. Because you are! You are freaking gorgeous! Women are way better looking than men. Artistically, ascetically speaking, way hotter, gals. With the expectation of some gay men, we dress better, we smell better, our skin looks nicer. We are the better-looking sex. Why not just own that instead of trying to out do ourselves.
And who decided that wrinkles and cellulite and stretch marks are disgusting. Fuck that person! I have had both cellulite and stretch marks since I was like 13. No matter how many miles I run, planks I hold, or skin products I buy, that shit ain’t going away. And you know what, when I’m out in the world wearing short shorts, bikinis, and my underwear on several occasions in my 20’s, I don’t ever think about it, AT ALL. Because no one has ever said to me, “Oh, you’d be really beautiful except for that cellulite under your right butt cheek.” Or “Yeah, I just saw your stretch marks so I’m going to stop making out with you now.”
We know intuitively and intellectually that beauty has very little to do with looks. But it’s hard, those moment just before we get in the shower to not hold up our breasts and wish they were a little perkier or smooth the lines that are forming around our eyes. But way back when we didn’t have lines and our breasts were perkier, we were worrying about something else entirely. So, what awesome part of your body are you taking for granted now by spending 2 hrs a week worrying about your weight? Honor your temple as it is right now. Right in this moment. Know that you cannot be improved upon. It is only your vision that is ugly, you mind that needs to be wiped cleaned.
You know, I may have cellulite and stretch marks, but my legs have literally carried me up mountains and run me through marathons. My eyes may be getting lines, but let them be laugh lines, not lines acquired worrying that my butt was too big in these pants. Let me spend less of my time fretting about this skin deep self and more time meditating on the Supreme Being that resides deep within. May this meditation reveal the beauty of my Inner Divine Light. May I be at peace with myself enough to shine this Light in all directions, to all beings. Own it. Love it. Don’t abuse it, misuse it, or neglect it. We are power and grace and beauty incarnate.
Now, that's a resolution I can get behind.