The past few months, I've been having a hard time. Not in my health. Not in my personal life.
Just my heart.
It's been heavy.
I've been pulled deeply into the shadow of doubt.
You've seen it.
It's been tough for me.
I want to turn my back.
On our culture.
For my culture,
I'm deeply disappointed.
And the "health & wellness" community...
Drinking our kombucha, and meditating, and hanging out in spandex together.
What are we doing?
Why aren't we more vocal, more politically active?
We celebrate our happiness and deny that suffering is all around us.
And people care that Taylor Swift may or may not have agreed to have Kanye West call her a 'bitch' for posterity?!
What the fuck?!
I wanted to run.
I wanted to get out. Sacrifice my abundance to serve those who are more deserving.
Because fuck white people, am I right?!
But I was reminded by my brother/mentor of the truth etched deep inside our bones.
That the need for service isn't leashed to who is more deserving.
You don't have to run away to do the work.
And running away is quitting.
We all need to be seen.
Some folks need a tiny push.
Some need to be held close.
We are all worthy of each other's attention.
We must be devoted to each other.
Devotion is faith and action.
Service is devotion.
A commitment to fight your own shadow. The patterns that make up your karma.
The doubt that blocks you from your divinity.
If I claim to have faith in God. To trust the practice and the inevitability of my own evolution and protection by that same divine source, I must also have faith in myself.
To be strong.
To stand in the shadow of my inner world and all the darkness around me.
To be the warrior in a battle for light, no matter the odds.
Because God is not separate from me.
Because I am the light.
Because we are all made of light.
Because God is inevitable.
And we have infinity to work it out.