One Year Later

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Today marks the one year anniversary of my hysterectomy.

I don’t know if I’ve lost weight because I don’t believe in weighing yourself. But I did lose a giant tumor, as you can see.
My exercise regime is exactly the same if even a little lighter because I ran a half marathon two days before the surgery and had been training for that. My diet has a lot more pastries in it as I still eat well but don’t have to worry about managing Fibroids.
My skin is way better.
Like a million times better.
My mood is more even.
My energy is more consistent, meaning I don’t have dramatic drop offs where I’d rather stay in bed.
I haven’t had my period in 13 months and I do not miss it.
The body is highly adaptable and it gets used to your normal. It can be possible to feel better with small changes, but sometimes you need to make a big one. It’s like you didn’t really understand how bad you felt until you feel better, that was the case with me anyway.

I can’t tell you all I learned from the whole situation as it’s pretty well entangled with the whole infertility saga of the five years prior.
What I can recommend is this:
Don’t rush to the lesson.
Not everything happens for a reason.
Things happen.
Sit with it.
Be present for what comes up.
Don’t push away discomfort or be suspicious of joy.
Know that all things of the world shift and change but there is a core in the center of you that is mother f’ing rock solid. ⠀
I also know that you are worthy, right now, just as you are. Crawl on your knees to prostrate at the altar if you want to, if it helps you feel connected, but it’s not a requirement. I used to do that. I thought it would somehow prove that I was good enough.
Today I choose to show up in celebration of the miracle of my life and of this body that makes it possible to experience it all. As the visionary Maty Ezraty told us while she was here, “Keep in mind that when you practice yoga, you’re not practicing to improve yourself. You are perfect. The practice is there to help you know that.”
Thanks yoga and thanks old me’s who committed the practice time to work that out.

Melissa McLaughlin